The doors open as energetic teenagers enter the West Point Bowling Alley, thunderous laughter fills the air, and a group of boys enjoys one final evening together before their friend moves away. Shouts of elation, applause and laughter abound. The kids are having a great time as bowling pins tumble down, TVs flash the latest game, and lights flicker. But not all kids would feel comfortable with the constant barrage of noises of elation. For many children and adults with autism and sensory needs, the overstimulation in this scene would be a stressful and scary situation.
Amy Estey, whose daughter Parker has autism, explains it by saying, “Kids with autism have a cup, and they’re always hearing things, and there is a constant drip coming out of the faucet and filling up their cup. It’s all the noise that we don’t notice. It becomes overstimulating. It’s like being in a disco with booming and flashing lights, and how that can get to you after a while. That’s Parker’s world on a daily basis.”
That is why the West Point Bowling Alley, working in cooperation with Community Connections, sets aside one hour each month for sensory-friendly bowling. Community Connections is a nonprofit organization in Highland Falls that organizes many opportunities for families with special needs to get together in a safe and comfortable environment, for both children and parents alike.
The West Point Fire Department came out to support November’s sensory-friendly bowling event on Nov. 9. It all started because Chief Alex Rivera came to Jill Mitchell, one of the founders of Community Connections, and asked how they could help.
“They have been our strongest allies,” Mitchell said. “I didn’t ask. When they came to me and said, ‘What can we do?,’ that meant everything.”
Rivera credits his team of firefighters, “They understand that we have the ability to influence in ways that maybe a lot of other folks don’t, and to take advantage of that in a positive way is very important. It can’t always be about emergency response. That’s what we do about 2% of the time. Outside of the preparation piece, it’s really about interacting with the community. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors sometimes, and it gives you compassion for people. From a personal perspective, it goes back to the fact that we have families, we have firefighters who have family members with disabilities, and we live this as well.”
Vicki Jackson, the installation’s new EFMP coordinator, notes that when the fire department teams up at these events, it “allows the kids who are non-verbal to be familiar with their faces. If there is a fire, they are less likely to run and hide because now they know the uniform means help, it means fun, not loud noises and scary.”
“When it comes to first responders, our kids are very fearful of them. They’re very fearful of the uniforms, the noises and lights,” Mitchell said. “After a recent event, one of the moms told me that her son had a horrible fear of firetrucks before that, and now he loves fire trucks. He was able to get over a fear that would have prevented him from coming out for help.”
Jackson commends Mitchell for her mission to help kids with sensory issues.
“Having an advocate like Jill, who is very approachable, is so helpful for all of us professionals, because then we can say, ‘How do we make this more inclusive?,’ and then when we do that, ‘How do we interact and make a safe environment for our families?,” Jackson said. “After COVID, we all saw how isolating it can be, and now because I experienced that, I got a little small window into how isolating it can be for families with disabilities.”
And it can be isolating.
“I didn’t leave my house for 10 years. My child was a very abusive non-verbal child. He’s scratching, biting and screaming for hours,” Mitchell said. “You’ve got every type of person imaginable and they’re trying to hold it together and it’s a very isolating and difficult social aspect. We want to go somewhere we feel comfortable, where we feel like we can breathe, where our kids are happy, we know they are safe, and the people around them want the best for them and are willing to do what it takes.”
The fire department has certainly demonstrated that willingness. While bowling with the families of Community Connections, you see firefighters cheering for the kids as they bowl with the lights up and music down. They help keep them inside the building and patiently wait for them to be ready to bowl again. While watching them interact with the kids, you can’t help but notice the smiles on the parents’ faces — they, too, seem relaxed and welcomed.
Free from judgment, the firefighters are giving these families that place to breathe. The kids are happy, and they are safe. Those around them want what’s best for them and are doing what it takes.
All the while they’re gaining valuable experience interacting with non-verbal members of the community, and should the need ever arise, they’re more prepared to help them. You can see the results in real time, as the very next day it was all smiles and hugs as the kids played basketball with those same firefighters at the department’s open house. They feel safe, not scared, and it shows.
“We’re trying to show EFMP families that it’s OK to come to these things, that their children can be themselves, they can make noises, they can do whatever it is they do. There is no judgement; the space is for them,” Mitchell said.
Jackson and Mitchell’s hard work is paying off, as sensory-friendly spaces are gradually working their way across post. First, it was sensory-friendly movie showings by AFFES, then bowling.
The next big event families with sensory needs can enjoy is the Army West Point Band concert on Saturday and Sunday. A space will be available before, during and after the 2 p.m. holiday concert in Eisenhower Hall Theater.
Inspired by the work of Mitchell and Jackson, Staff Sgt. Chrissy Rivers began planning for a sensory-friendly band experience at this year’s holiday concert.
“I saw these spaces at large sporting events and have heard friends say how welcomed it made them and their families feel. While studying how to create more inclusive spaces as part of a school librarianship degree, I realized with the right planning we could create the same sensory-inclusive atmosphere at our events,” said Rivers, the West Point Band’s marketing and communications NCO.
A designated space outside of the elevators, on the sixth floor of Eisenhower Hall, “will be a location for anyone with sensory needs at our event who needs a break,” she said. “The space will have fidgets, headphones, coloring activities, pink noise and low lighting.”
Rivers was inspired by “seeing more sensory-friendly events on West Point and recognizing a need in our community,” she said.
Supported by her command team, Rivers said she was proud to see it coming together in time for her favorite event of the year. “In addition to the sensory space, there will be a sensory-friendly program located at westpointband.com to let patrons know what pieces have flashing lights, louder instrumentation like drums and guitars, and when our very special guest, Santa, will arrive.”
When it comes to families with special needs, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Leaving the house can be difficult, as Mitchell said. That sentiment was echoed by Estey as well, “We never left our house to do anything because everywhere we went was a danger and too scary. It was hard for me, hard for my husband — it takes both of us to watch Parker.”
The work Mitchell, Jackson and others are doing is constantly improving quality of life for our exceptional family members.
“We found a family in Community Connections,” Estey said. “They keep an eye out for Parker too and it’s nice. We feel comfortable bringing her places when we’re going with the group. It has opened doors. Jill is fantastic, she’s a fighter, she’s been huge for me.ˮ
When it comes to what people should know about kids and adults with special needs, Estey said all you really need “is understanding and patience. It’s a lot of misunderstanding, it’s a lot of judgement. If you take a second, there is a lot of magic in all of these kids. If people just open their hearts a little bit and were a little bit patient, they would see a whole new world and they would see the world from a different angle.”